Making it count

I actually had notes written down for this post about three weeks ago, however I seem to have lost them, like most pieces of paper in my life they are there one minute and then gone the next. So I am going to try to remember as much of what I wanted to say as I can, bearing in mind this post is coming a few weeks later than I anticipated.

I have spent a long time, by long time I mean many years, thinking about the saying ‘Live each day like it is your last’ for a procrastinator like me it is a hard concept to grasp but I never really saw anything wrong with it. That was until the start of last month when I got to see my Grandy on his last day with us and how much of a struggle it was for him. It was so hard to see him in pain but even harder to see him so sad. I think he knew he wasn’t going to make another full day with us and it broke his heart. It was then that I realised I would never want to live each day like it is my last, for most of us I imagine that would mean a lot of pain and heartache, why would you ever want to do that. What I want to do is to live each day as if it is the greatest day ever, to wake up knowing that I am doing exactly what is right for me and that I am causing no pain to anyone or anything on this wonderful world. Doesnt that sound great? I sure think so.

That means that there will be some exciting things happening for both me and the blog, they won’t all happen at once and I expect it to take a long while before I am ready to reveal all my plans but I will say that this blog is about my whole life now, be that my interest in science, cooking, art etc. I will be posting a few times over the next week or so just to catch back up with myself but then I am hoping that I will be able to post once a week on a regular basis.

It would be amazing to have you all along for the ride and I will do my best to make it enjoyable!

For my Grandy, I will always love you. I hope one day I can do you proud.

Till next time, take care everyone.

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How on earth do you recover from being completely drained?

If anyone has an answer to that I would be incredibly grateful, although don’t worry, I don’t really expect an answer.

It seems so much has happened over the past few months, stuff I can’t really talk about yet because it is so raw. I will say though that my family has lost a very important person this past week, he will never ever be forgotten and oh how I wish he was here now but I have to keep moving forward. Trying to stay strong is hard.
It is leading to new developments though, my Dad mentioned to me the other day that whilst he is still here he is going to enjoy as much of what he does as he can. That got me to thinking, I am doing some things I really enjoy, such as my University course, and I know it is leading up to being able to make huge changes in the way my life is going, however that is a long way off in the future. I need to make some more positive changes now. I feel completely stuck in the job I have, I need it to pay my bills and there are so few jobs out there that I would be able to do for a similar wage to what I earn now that for the time being I don’t have many options. Having said that I have a few things ruminating in my mind, plans that may lead to me being able to have a change in career sooner than anticipated.
I won’t go into details now, I will say though that over the coming months there will be changes happening on here and you may start to notice a trend with the things I am posting about. I hope that this will lead to something good and new and exciting but only time will tell. I hope you will follow me on this journey and that in turn I can inspire you all to do something you have been dreaming about but never thought you had the chance to do.

In the meantime, take care of yourselves, let the people you love know that you do and smile often it brightens your day immensely.

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Happiness…..Is Not a Fish That You Can Catch

Happiness is, for me at least, listening to a band you have loved for a long while, the sun shining through the window and a wonderful feeling of peace. I haven’t felt this way for a while; so it is a very good thing. I should thank the band: Our Lady Peace and mention today’s blog post title is also one of their albums. If you don’t know them and you have a liking for alternative music please do seek them out!

I said in my last post that this one would be a goals/resolution post. To be honest though I am a little all over the place at the minute as I have so much going on in my life. Because of that I feel goals and resolutions are slightly redundant at this time.

I am just thinking about being happy, living life fully, loving with all my heart, becoming the best me I can ever be. Basically just living for today. Maybe that is a cop out; I don’t know and to be honest I don’t care. I don’t want to force myself down a road that isn’t right for me just because I feel like I should set goals for myself, surely that would be counterproductive. So for now, no goals. I am happier that way.

I have been struggling recently with confidence, a lack of, believe me I wish that sometimes I had it in abundance. I have a few really smart friends on FB who have such strong opinions about many of the same things I have strong opinions about. I however don’t feel confident enough to comment on 99% of the things they talk about. I get this nervous knot in my stomach, what happens if someone responds to something I say and I am unable to comment back? How foolish would I look for trying to have an opinion. So my self doubt sets in and I just don’t bother. I don’t like not bothering though, I feel that sometimes I have such important things to say. How on earth do I get over that mental hump though. It sucks. And yet here I am writing a blog, not that very many people know it exists but I do know someone somewhere out there is reading it occasionally and that doesn’t affect me at all. I don’t feel nervous or skittish about people reading my blog. Maybe it is because I don’t know who is reading this but when I take part in a conversation I know who it is and don’t want to appear stupid. Maybe one day I will just take the plunge and get my opinion out there.

In other news; the vegetarianism is going extremely well. I haven’t felt this good about my eating choices or my health for a long long time. I feel more in touch with everything and it is amazing, who knew food could be so powerful!? I am really happy to be on this journey and have the ability to share it with you.

I hope everybody is healthy and happy. Until next time, take care xx

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Time flies; even when you aren’t having fun.

I didn’t realise it had been quite so long since I sat down to write a blog post, it has been kind of hectic round here though. It snowed, not badly, at least not compared to some places in the world, unfortunately Britain isn’t geared up to cope with snow so it always hits us pretty hard. It also makes my journey to work longer and harder. That really sucks as I generally don’t want to be there anyway but then to have to get up earlier, in the pitch black and head out in the freezing cold, it certainly doesn’t raise your spirits!

I have also had my third uni assignment to finish and hand in so that takes up a lot of my time when I’m not at work. I got my results back on Thursday though and yet again I did really well. It makes me happy to know that my brain is actually useful for some things, I definitely think I have found my calling! I have also been thinking about the effects my everyday life has on the world around me and at large, as you may know I decided to become Vegetarian, well I am loving it. I certainly don’t miss meat; Yes! However I am not sure being Vegetarian is enough and I am seriously looking at becoming Vegan. Yes it would mean a lot of hard changes but I wouldn’t be causing suffering to any animals then and for me that is fantastic. I am just not sure I am ready to take the plunge. I am ashamed to say it but I would miss cheese so much, I am not sure how I could get by without it, so if anybody has any tips for me please let me know. I will love you forever!

I am also looking for hints and tips on how to go about finding a new job, I would really like something in the Environmental sector but as I have only just started uni I don’t really have anything to show them. I am wondering if writing to places is a good idea or whether to leave it for  a while. I would happily do some volunteering to build up experience but I am already juggling uni, full-time work and running a household, I just don’t know if I have the energy for it without wiping myself out completely. Anybody have any thoughts on what I could do?

 

I think my next post is going to be a goal/resolution list. I can keep an easy check on my progress that way, has anybody else done anything like that? Making yourself accountable to others for the things you do? I had read somewhere once a long time ago that it is one of the best ways to make sure you do the things you say you will do!

 

I am heading off now to pick up some veggies from a friend and maybe hit a market or some charity shops. Hope you all have a fab weekend. Until next time; take care! xxx

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A thought for the day

Maybe this is how my blogging life will go. Months on end with nothing, then everything all at once. I hope not, I am a bit scatter brained at the minute though so please bear with me.

I logged on to the ever so wonderful book of face this morning to find out about a new initiative that Dame Vivienne Westwood is doing and that Lush have joined in on the fun. It is the Climate Revolution  please go and have a look at it, spread the word around, etc etc. I also found this place, Cool Earth whilst looking into VW a bit more. I am excited to see someone of such a high profile being interested and active in things like this. Maybe there is still some hope.

Ok, so now I really do need to crack on with my Uni Assignment. I will be back when I have finished it. It has to be in by the 10th, so if I don’t see you before, I will see you then.

Take care guys and gals xxx

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2013

Well it is now the 1st January 2013. I am sat at my dining room table, writing this instead of studying. I find that this time of year knocks me on my ass more often than not. I want to find some way of bringing joy and love into everything I do this year. I am just not sure how to go about that. One of my internet life friends is doing a gratitude jar, in which is placed a note about something you are grateful for everyday for the year. I think that is a good idea and I may do it, I just feel that as I am only responsible to myself for that it will probably fall by the wayside. Maybe if I do a post entitled Gratitude and update it everyday that would be better, at least then I am responsible to others if I don’t do it.

Oh well, we will see. No doubt it will be posted here soon anyway.

 

So what I really wanted to say was; Happy New Year to you all, I hope 2013 is your best year yet!

 

xxx

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The more I read

The more I realise how little I actually know. I would like to consider myself reasonably well versed in Environmental knowledge (at least for a beginner) however I just found out about the tragic loss of a wonderful lady Rebecca Tarbotton who was the Exec Director of Rainforest Action Network (a company I had never even heard of).

I have realised that there is so much more in this world than the little I know, for that I am grateful, I yearn for knowledge everyday, sometimes it ends up being like Homer J Simpson says: And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. For the most part however I feel like I can retain at least some of what I learn, that I feel is great and something which makes me proud to be Human, it means I have the ability not only to learn but to learn from my mistakes and to make progress towards a better me and a better planet.

Because of that knowledge, I have to take note that I don’t want to pidgeonhole myself into a corner with this blog. I want it to be about all of my experiences in this life. If I am then also able to impart a little knowledge onto somebody else and they in turn do the same thing, then I will feel in some small part like I am leading a good life. I have wallowed for far too long in a self pity spiral, I now want to go out and experience the world and help it to thrive in any way I can.

Hopefully you will all feel the same and would like to partake in the giving and receiving of knowledge, even if you feel as though you have nothing to give, please stay awhile, soak up what you can and maybe we can all learn to be a little bit better.

Take care everyone, till next time xx

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